Primary Day in Maryland, I worked at the polls with the Democrats (2 people other than me at the most) sitting at a table, gabbing with the few voters who cared enough to talk to us on the way to the Diebold machines. Hardly any activity or enthusiasm. Almost no voters younger than me, and I'm 43. Over all, not much effort to make a difference at one of the few opportunities to rally support for the Democratic Party.

The Sunday before I had a great talk with a friend about the Democratic Party. She was saying, "If the Democratic Party doesn't do...." And after I listened to her sensible ideas, I asked her, "Who do we mean by 'the Democratic Party?' Is it the people in the new DNC office building, Terry Mc and the gang? Why isn't it us? The rank and file who (want to) support Democratic candidates and principles?" I wonder: What IS "the Democratic Party?" What SHOULD it be?

Speaking with the Democratic Party precinct chairs at the primary polls, I confirmed what the Democratic Party is here in the shadows of Washington DC, so close to the center of power. It's a small clique of unimaginative, although probably politically liberal 40 and 50-somethings who spend their meetings debating bylaws, nomenclature and distribution of thankless duties.

I give them credit for the work they do in return for no money and even less appreciation, but bottom line I'm not happy with their output. The fault is not all theirs, however. I cannot claim I've offered to fetch coffee, set up chairs or make calls to further their agenda. Still, at least some blame rests with them. I go to campaign events, I sit at tables at grocery stores and county fairs, and I put in hours at the polls for primary and general elections. Each time I've signed up to help and I've called a few times, but I never got any response.

They discuss fundraisers and outreach at their meetings, but it never happens. Their insular, almost invisible operations insure they do not reach the general public to increase the number and enthusiasm of Democrats. They don't reach out to new people as potential members of the Party or as volunteers.

They're not connecting with people who express interest. They're even holding local officials distance. They don't get anything done. Eager, energetic people will find other avenues for their political and social action - the Green Party, various pressure groups - or worse it may fade away in front of the TV screen.

My frustrating experience with the Democratic Party structure is hardly unique. For several years, friends across the US assumed I was involved with the "official" Democratic Party because of my highly visible self-directed efforts. They complained the Democratic Party ignored or rebuffed them when they called to offer their time and enthusiasm.

The Democratic Party voices on the phones told my friends "professionals" were stuffing envelopes and performing the other tasks which foster unity and the critical spirit and enthusiasm which comes from a sense of belonging. The voices asked them to write a fat check then sit back instead.

Thereby the official voice of the Democratic Party converted my friends from highly motivated pro-Democratic free labor to insulted, unhappy rejects less likely to vote, much less harangue undecided voters to support Democrats. That causes dry rot at the grassroots.

This unacceptably rude and self-defeating attitude fosters the malaise and apathy among the Democratic base which ensures defeat at the polls. Of course this is a shameful waste, and demonstrates how the Democratic Party structure devolved into a decrepit beached whale able to thwart perceived "threats" to its power like Howard Dean, but incapable of taking the fight to the real threat - the extreme right wing Republican Party.

I've defended these people, trusting their supposed superior insight and skill. I pledged that unless they won in 2002, I would soundly reject their "trim the sales" go along to get along attitude and throw in with the insurgents. I went to marches. I took public stands against Democratic Congressional "Leaders" who caved to Bush on war, education, and liberties. I supported the Dean candidacy.

I still think beating Bush and other right wingers remains paramount, I just no longer think the Democratic Party knows how to win. As Howard Dean said, they run not to lose, afraid, and that's when you lose. The record confirms this. Nominating the cautious Kerry because the media tells them he's "electable" is redundant confirmation. We're stuck with Kerry, but we're not stuck with the failed, limp, loser attitudes of a party afraid to be itself.

Howard Dean proved people respond better to someone they disagree with some of the time whom they respect and trust over someone they sense is just saying what they want to hear, but who will throw off these positions as quickly as they donned them. We cannot trust the Democratic Party structure to embrace these imperatives, and we cannot risk their reflexive reversion to sad, weak and bland dithering.

Under the rubric of "lead, follow or get out of the way," I suggest we approach the local leaders of the Democratic Party and offer our help, hard work and loyalty in good faith. That means we offer to take the back seat, to help with the lowest, most thankless jobs. We go in with respect for their prerogatives, and quietly pay our dues to earn - never demand - a place at the table.

If they reject our help, we will have no choice. We must then help ourselves to the levers of power to save the decrepit Democratic Party from itself. After all, no one elected these local party officials - except each other. They're just a fraternity house whose dismal performances in the past several years put them on "triple secret probation." If they can't run house, we have to clean house.

A power struggle is far less desirable than a friendly influx, however. It's always easier and more productive to join an existing structure than rip it down and build from scratch. We might have to build in parallel, especially if we don't know the nuts and bolts basics - where to file papers and petitions to get our candidates on ballots, which local officials are hard workers, which are truly progressive, which are lazy, opportunists or DINOs (Democrats In Name Only).